The worst.thing.ever happened to me this afternoon: I ran out of words.
I was staring at a computer screen, attempting to write a letter to the women who will be participating in the Nehemiah study at my church, and I realized I had nothing to say. Nada.
I reasoned my lack of verbosity was due to finishing a guest post for another blogger earlier in the day, but then I realized I had been working on that post for more than two weeks.
This? Is the verbal Sahara. And it's crazy because I have all of these ideas that need a little flesh on their bones.
I don't think this is a permanent place--just somewhere I'm going to navigate while I spend a little time listening for God's voice. Also? I'll be logging time here just to keep myself in the practice of writing.
Hopefully, I'll be able to put the proverbial pen to paper on some of those other topics in the near future.
Personally, I'm praying the dam holding the loquaciousness will break. Soon.
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Friday, June 8, 2012
7 Quick Takes Friday (6/8/2012)
-1-
After a frustrating turn (again) with Fat Tuesday, I went to see a nutritionist yesterday. I had spoken to a nurse before I met with him, and she assured me their "plan" was much lower in carbs than the diabetic diet I had been following. When I sat at his table, however, he showed me a plan that accounted for approximately 120-140 carbs a day. I was confused; he noticed my confusion and asked a question: "You look like you don't understand?"I told him what the nurse said and stated I'd already been following a plan that kept me at or under 80 carbs per day. He leaned back in his chair and asked for details. I slowly began recounting carb choices, how I determine how many I get per meal and how I attempt to make that happen. Then he said something no doctor has ever said to me before: "It sounds like you're really trying. How did you learn all of this?"
I told him I read until it made sense. And I fought it for a long time. But my insulin resistance demands attention--no matter how much I'd like to pretend that any traditional plan would work.
We chit-chatted; he said he really didn't have anything to teach me. And, for the first time since losing a bunch of weight in a really questionable way, I felt like I knew what I was doing. So slow-going or no, this is where I am.
-2-
I hate my legs. I love maxi-length dresses. I will buy as many of them as I can while they are "in" so I can wear them when they aren't. Don't judge me. (I bought another one at Sam's the other day. To date, I don't think I've paid more than $25 for any of those dresses, and I've gotten 2 from Walmart.)
-3-
Laundry is no bueno. I'm envious of the women who know how to get smells out of under armor and how to keep mixed color clothes bright and clean. I did learn to use aspirin on my whites so maybe I'm getting the game?
-4-
For the first time in a while, Favorite and I cooked at home last night. We roasted asparagus with garlic salt and fresh cracked pepper. This is totally the way to eat asparagus. Actually, with a few exceptions, this is the way to eat most vegetables. Get yourself some grapeseed oil and get on it.
-5-
I've never participated in more than one Bible study at a time, but thanks to the prompting of my friend, Courtney, I am doing just that this summer. The first study is based on a book I read last year--Made to Crave--and is a focus in learning to fill our needs with God instead of food. There's a little more to it, but for simplicity, we'll leave it at that. The second study is Kelly Minter's Nehemiah we are hosting at our church. Courtney is leading; I'm doing the behind-the-scenes work.Oddly, instead of being overwhelmed, I'm pretty excited about both of them...even when I found out our study has at least 25 women. (25! Women!) So I'm way outside my comfort zone and scared to death. But ready. So, so ready.
-6-
I need to set an exercise goal. Here's the deal, though: I have no idea what sort of goal I should be setting because most long term goals seem to focus around the idea of running. I hate running. So now I'm left wondering if I should get a gym membership or go it alone. Classes are out at this point, because I can't afford to get a rec membership for the summer. Thoughts?
-7-
I so need a summer schedule. I don't do well with large blocks of free time. So I guess I'll be sitting down to determine what my Mon-Fri will look like for most of the rest of the summer. Of course, exceptions are always welcome for people I love and miss. Blue Sky, anyone?
Thursday, June 7, 2012
The Admission Price of Community
I realized something yesterday as my dad and PastorJosh battled wasps with a can of aerosol hairspray, a pool skimmer and a stick: some of the best shows don't charge admission.
Of course, the day we open the pool is always an event--wasps aside. It requires a minimum of six people (we had seven and a baby yesterday), and generally, someone "accidentally" ends up in the pool. (Yesterday that person was NumNum-the-Wonder-Child who managed to slip in while we were letting her dangle her feet over the edge. She's a sneaky one.) When our tasks were accomplished, we all sat around the dinner table and laughed manically over stupid stories or antics.
It's community. And a sweet reminder of Wednesday night dinners of yore. (I'm introducing new vocabulary words to the blog. You're welcome.) But that experience also made me think that shared community isn't all shared meals, swatting wasps as a team and laughing. Sometimes it looks significantly less "shiny, happy people."
Earlier this week, PastorJosh tweeted, "Being a critic isn't a spiritual gift." It hit me, because, truthfully, the same community that allows for shared happiness also means direct access to the crazy ins and outs of individual personalities. And direct access often leads to commentary. Personal commentary. About other people. And their situations. Which are none of our business. Most of the time.
At the end of the year, one of my students commented that I was really great at constantly telling her where her papers needed improvement, but I wasn't so great at telling her how she had improved from the last paper. She isn't wrong. I've spent most of my academic career learning how to critically assess material and comment on those assessments. I'm good at it because I've had a lot of practice. And more times than not, I find myself using those same critical assessment skills to evaluate other people or their life decisions even when I need them to grant me graciousness for mine.
But the tenor of my community has shifted. The people who have partnered with me are less willing to laugh over criticism as my spiritual gift. They don't make light of the serious. I'm learning what it looks like to love. And God is gently reminding me about my call to encouragement even when it's counter to most aspects of my personality.
Like most other things, I'm sure I'll be writing through this process.
Right now, I'm just thankful God is still working on my heart. I'm praying He'll help my unbelief.
Of course, the day we open the pool is always an event--wasps aside. It requires a minimum of six people (we had seven and a baby yesterday), and generally, someone "accidentally" ends up in the pool. (Yesterday that person was NumNum-the-Wonder-Child who managed to slip in while we were letting her dangle her feet over the edge. She's a sneaky one.) When our tasks were accomplished, we all sat around the dinner table and laughed manically over stupid stories or antics.
It's community. And a sweet reminder of Wednesday night dinners of yore. (I'm introducing new vocabulary words to the blog. You're welcome.) But that experience also made me think that shared community isn't all shared meals, swatting wasps as a team and laughing. Sometimes it looks significantly less "shiny, happy people."
Earlier this week, PastorJosh tweeted, "Being a critic isn't a spiritual gift." It hit me, because, truthfully, the same community that allows for shared happiness also means direct access to the crazy ins and outs of individual personalities. And direct access often leads to commentary. Personal commentary. About other people. And their situations. Which are none of our business. Most of the time.
At the end of the year, one of my students commented that I was really great at constantly telling her where her papers needed improvement, but I wasn't so great at telling her how she had improved from the last paper. She isn't wrong. I've spent most of my academic career learning how to critically assess material and comment on those assessments. I'm good at it because I've had a lot of practice. And more times than not, I find myself using those same critical assessment skills to evaluate other people or their life decisions even when I need them to grant me graciousness for mine.
But the tenor of my community has shifted. The people who have partnered with me are less willing to laugh over criticism as my spiritual gift. They don't make light of the serious. I'm learning what it looks like to love. And God is gently reminding me about my call to encouragement even when it's counter to most aspects of my personality.
Like most other things, I'm sure I'll be writing through this process.
Right now, I'm just thankful God is still working on my heart. I'm praying He'll help my unbelief.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
A Compilation of Attributes
We are officially back from visiting BigBro and SILSheena. I documented most of our trip through Twitter and Instagram, so I probably won't recap here (with the exception of a few things I just feel the need to discuss because that sandwich at Melt bears some meditation). Now that vacation is over, I've had some time to sit and consider a variety of topics: the school year, church, Bible study, weight loss, etc.
And I promise I'll try to talk about any of those things as interestingly as I know how. I sure wouldn't want to take you away from your DVRed episodes of The Hatfields and McCoys because holy crap that was amazing TV.
(Totally serious for a minute. Did anyone watch it? The History Channel hit it out of the park this time. I totally felt invested in those people--though I couldn't quite understand the allure of Johnse Hatfield? Favorite and I rarely watch more than a couple hours of TV at once, and we found ourselves watching two episodes back-to-back--about 4 hours worth of television.)
Meanwhile, I've wisely been considering which attributes of which women I would gladly take as my own. So far, here's what I've gotten:
Face/Hair: Isla Fisher (runner up: Emma Stone)--What can I say? I love red(ish) hair and pixie-ish looks.
Figure: Julianne Hough (runner up: Jessica Alba)--Abs. That's all we need to think about here.
Intelligence: Melissa Fitzpatrick--I'm pretty sure she's younger than I am (anyone know for sure?), but her reading prowess is off the charts. And she writes so beautifully.
Dance Skills: Shakira (runner up: Jessica Alba)--I just want to be able to belly dance...but Alba's turn in Honey was enough to convince me she deserves some recognition here.
Singing Chops: Christina Aguilera (runner up: P!nk)--Aguilera gots skillz, yo. Anyone who has heard her sing knows that's for sure. But I also have a thing for P!nk's I'm-not-trying sound. I should also mention that it wouldn't hurt my feelings to sound like Kelly Clarkson, Natalie Grant or Carrie Underwood, either.
Determination: Christine Caine--I've never had one woman who singularly made me feel so capable and slacker-ish in the same second. God is certainly using her.
Writing Ability: Nichole Nordeman. Or Melissa Fitzpatrick. Or Beth Moore. Or Madeleine L'Engle. Or any woman who has made me feel like words jump off a page into the chests of the people who read them and make an impact.
That's all I managed to compile before our nine hour car ride came to a gracious end. But surely I'm not the only girl who's ever compiled attributes?
Maybe?
And I promise I'll try to talk about any of those things as interestingly as I know how. I sure wouldn't want to take you away from your DVRed episodes of The Hatfields and McCoys because holy crap that was amazing TV.
(Totally serious for a minute. Did anyone watch it? The History Channel hit it out of the park this time. I totally felt invested in those people--though I couldn't quite understand the allure of Johnse Hatfield? Favorite and I rarely watch more than a couple hours of TV at once, and we found ourselves watching two episodes back-to-back--about 4 hours worth of television.)
Meanwhile, I've wisely been considering which attributes of which women I would gladly take as my own. So far, here's what I've gotten:
Face/Hair: Isla Fisher (runner up: Emma Stone)--What can I say? I love red(ish) hair and pixie-ish looks.
Figure: Julianne Hough (runner up: Jessica Alba)--Abs. That's all we need to think about here.
Intelligence: Melissa Fitzpatrick--I'm pretty sure she's younger than I am (anyone know for sure?), but her reading prowess is off the charts. And she writes so beautifully.
Dance Skills: Shakira (runner up: Jessica Alba)--I just want to be able to belly dance...but Alba's turn in Honey was enough to convince me she deserves some recognition here.
Singing Chops: Christina Aguilera (runner up: P!nk)--Aguilera gots skillz, yo. Anyone who has heard her sing knows that's for sure. But I also have a thing for P!nk's I'm-not-trying sound. I should also mention that it wouldn't hurt my feelings to sound like Kelly Clarkson, Natalie Grant or Carrie Underwood, either.
Determination: Christine Caine--I've never had one woman who singularly made me feel so capable and slacker-ish in the same second. God is certainly using her.
Writing Ability: Nichole Nordeman. Or Melissa Fitzpatrick. Or Beth Moore. Or Madeleine L'Engle. Or any woman who has made me feel like words jump off a page into the chests of the people who read them and make an impact.
That's all I managed to compile before our nine hour car ride came to a gracious end. But surely I'm not the only girl who's ever compiled attributes?
Maybe?
Saturday, June 2, 2012
In case you aren't already...
In case you aren't already, you should.follow on twitter or instagram to get the low down on our visit to Ohio. Click on the sidebar to get started. See you on Tuesday!
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
The Letter Series: On the Occasion of Our 9th Anniversary
Dear Favorite,
Tomorrow we will celebrate nine years of marriage. And all I can think is they have been a hard fought nine years. People who believe marriage is held together by some sort of magical love fairy have obviously not been on the other side of some of our more epic battles.
I actually think that's part of what has made this work, though. We've learned, together, to fight fairly and only with one another. I'm sorry it took the better part of those nine years to realize how important that aspect of marriage is...particularly since it's something you seemed to get from the beginning.
Actually, there were a lot of things that just made sense to you. Provision. Protection. Support. Encouragement. While I was busy believing laundry was a need to be met, you were careful to acknowledge the less tangible needs in me. To acknowledge those gifts is to openly acknowledge that our marriage has gotten to this point due to your continued persistence.
That's just you, though. You would never admit it, but as soon as someone tells you something is impossible, you have a goal--to prove him or her wrong. Your tenacity and super strange sense of humor have been rallying points for us whether you've realized it or not. And those gifts are mostly the reason we've notched our belts for nine whole years.
It's funny, though isn't it? To wake up and realize that none of this looks the way we planned it, but to know that I would've chosen you over and over. To me, that is the most accurate depiction of love--the fact that we have chosen each other in spite of circumstances that statistically ruin relationships.
I wonder if being a little bit broken meant we fused as we healed? If that's true, I wonder what our relationship will look like when grief isn't a part of most days--when it's just you and me and not you and me and the could-have-beens. It can't be less than beautiful, because I'm highly convinced that the flaws and blemishes are the story behind beauty. And we certainly have our own fair share.
But whatever jumbled, beautiful mess it may be, we're right in the middle of it together.
And in the end, I want to be standing at the beginning with you.
I love you--as deeply as you've taught me to love.
Crys
Tomorrow we will celebrate nine years of marriage. And all I can think is they have been a hard fought nine years. People who believe marriage is held together by some sort of magical love fairy have obviously not been on the other side of some of our more epic battles.
I actually think that's part of what has made this work, though. We've learned, together, to fight fairly and only with one another. I'm sorry it took the better part of those nine years to realize how important that aspect of marriage is...particularly since it's something you seemed to get from the beginning.
Actually, there were a lot of things that just made sense to you. Provision. Protection. Support. Encouragement. While I was busy believing laundry was a need to be met, you were careful to acknowledge the less tangible needs in me. To acknowledge those gifts is to openly acknowledge that our marriage has gotten to this point due to your continued persistence.
That's just you, though. You would never admit it, but as soon as someone tells you something is impossible, you have a goal--to prove him or her wrong. Your tenacity and super strange sense of humor have been rallying points for us whether you've realized it or not. And those gifts are mostly the reason we've notched our belts for nine whole years.
It's funny, though isn't it? To wake up and realize that none of this looks the way we planned it, but to know that I would've chosen you over and over. To me, that is the most accurate depiction of love--the fact that we have chosen each other in spite of circumstances that statistically ruin relationships.
I wonder if being a little bit broken meant we fused as we healed? If that's true, I wonder what our relationship will look like when grief isn't a part of most days--when it's just you and me and not you and me and the could-have-beens. It can't be less than beautiful, because I'm highly convinced that the flaws and blemishes are the story behind beauty. And we certainly have our own fair share.
But whatever jumbled, beautiful mess it may be, we're right in the middle of it together.
And in the end, I want to be standing at the beginning with you.
I love you--as deeply as you've taught me to love.
Crys
Friday, May 25, 2012
What I'm Loving (5/25/2012)
I know I've been pretty MIA in the last few weeks. I'd like to blame it on the constant activity in my life, but my lack of presence is mostly due to being inside my head for a bit. Trying to figure things out. Working on this guest post that may be the worst piece of writing I've ever generated.
But today's post? Is bright and cheery and includes recommendations for several products I happen to think are fantastic.
This is the Fossil Satchel my parents gave me for Christmas, and after carrying it for five months, I think it's safe to hand out my reviews and opinions.
In short? Love it. It's really a classic bag with clean lines and tons of room for all the stuff I carry with me. I highly recommend it.
I used to be able to do anything to my hair with few consequences. Unfortunately, as I get older and my skin gets drier, so does my hair. It's a problem because my hair is curly, fine and color treated so even though Suave thinks they are as good as the professional brands, I can assure you my hair does not respond to their formula.
I've paid a lot of money for hair products that were...eh. And I was pretty skeptical when my mom told me how much she loves this product. It was $10 for a bottle, so I thought it was a pretty safe risk.
Thankfully, that was $10 well spent. Jennifer, my hair lady, commented how healthy my hair looked the last time I saw her, and I really believe it has a lot to do with the shampoo and conditioner. I get it at Sally's Beauty Supply (do they have those all over the country? Or just here in the midwest?). Liters go for $20, but anyone who has bought professional shampoos or conditioners knows that's a steal for that much product.
Earlier this week, I got a sunburn through my jeans. I know it sounds crazy, but it's a true story. That said, it's clear my skin is super sensitive and crazy dry. Most body washes make my dry skin worse, so I decided to try something that was made for sensitive baby skin.
It really is awesome. Plus, it wasn't as expensive as the Body Butter wash I was using so that's a real bonus.
To the left is Barky. To the right is the newest addition to our family: Corky. I probably should've posted about him sooner, but we took him on a trial basis from a local animal shelter to see if he would jive with Bark's possessive personality.
He's six months old and the sweetest puppy, but he's super active and wants to play all.the.time. The first few days he was here, Bark wouldn't have anything to do with anyone. He was mad we brought this baby into his life and he sure let us know he was less than happy. But over the course of the week, he's gotten used to him. Sure, they've fought. But I think Bark is adjusting well.
Oh, and if I believed in reincarnation, I would tell you that this puppy is Alex in someone else's body. It's been serendipity--that's for sure. We're going to finish paper work for Corky today, and then he's officially part of our House.
Now that we're on summer break, I'll try to post a little more often. And I'm working on things of substance that may require feedback. You'll be here, right? To help me perfect inperfect writing?
But today's post? Is bright and cheery and includes recommendations for several products I happen to think are fantastic.
In short? Love it. It's really a classic bag with clean lines and tons of room for all the stuff I carry with me. I highly recommend it.
I've paid a lot of money for hair products that were...eh. And I was pretty skeptical when my mom told me how much she loves this product. It was $10 for a bottle, so I thought it was a pretty safe risk.
Thankfully, that was $10 well spent. Jennifer, my hair lady, commented how healthy my hair looked the last time I saw her, and I really believe it has a lot to do with the shampoo and conditioner. I get it at Sally's Beauty Supply (do they have those all over the country? Or just here in the midwest?). Liters go for $20, but anyone who has bought professional shampoos or conditioners knows that's a steal for that much product.
Earlier this week, I got a sunburn through my jeans. I know it sounds crazy, but it's a true story. That said, it's clear my skin is super sensitive and crazy dry. Most body washes make my dry skin worse, so I decided to try something that was made for sensitive baby skin.
It really is awesome. Plus, it wasn't as expensive as the Body Butter wash I was using so that's a real bonus.
He's six months old and the sweetest puppy, but he's super active and wants to play all.the.time. The first few days he was here, Bark wouldn't have anything to do with anyone. He was mad we brought this baby into his life and he sure let us know he was less than happy. But over the course of the week, he's gotten used to him. Sure, they've fought. But I think Bark is adjusting well.
Oh, and if I believed in reincarnation, I would tell you that this puppy is Alex in someone else's body. It's been serendipity--that's for sure. We're going to finish paper work for Corky today, and then he's officially part of our House.
Now that we're on summer break, I'll try to post a little more often. And I'm working on things of substance that may require feedback. You'll be here, right? To help me perfect inperfect writing?
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