My Personal FAQ

A few people in real life and in blog world have asked a couple of questions related to my pregnancy.  In general, I'm not opposed to answering questions; however, I will use discretion where I feel it's necessary.

While we were waiting, I sometimes found inspiration in other people's stories.  More often than not, though, I felt like other people's stories weren't necessarily something I could claim for myself.  No matter what side of the fence you are on, I hope you find even the smallest amount of encouragement here.

1.  How long have you been trying to have a baby?

Total, it was 7 1/2 years before this pregnancy.  My PCO went undiagnosed until I was 29, and then we suffered a miscarriage about two years ago.

2.  Did you take medication to get pregnant this time?

Nope.  This was, in the truest sense of the word, a miracle.  The only medication I have taken in the last two years has been metformin--mostly to control or alleviate some of the symptoms of PCO.  But we didn't take any fertility medication to conceive Little Navajo at all.  In fact, it was the shock of my life when the doctor told me, and I even argued with him when he tried to convince me.

(And I thought most of the symptoms before that positive test were the result of PCO and my gall bladder.)

3.  Did you ever consider pursuing IVF?

I didn't.  I'm not opposed to IVF, but it was never going to be a good fit for us for several reasons.  I never felt "at ease" with pursuing that particular treatment, mostly.  (And over 7 1/2 years, I did a lot of praying.  Believe me.)

I'm glad it works for so many people, and I know several people who have personally been given a chance at parenthood because of it.  It just wasn't for us.

4.  How does PCOS affect pregnancy?

There's really no short answer to this question, so I'll be as brief as possible.

PCO makes it really difficult to get pregnant.  Most sufferers do not ovulate with any regularity.  There are medications to fix the lack of ovulation; however, that is no guarantee.

Unfortunately, miscarriage is much higher for someone with PCO.  Some research indicates women with PCO may have poorer egg quality than the general population.  Some research states that the hormonal irregularities cause a higher incidence of miscarriage, but the jury is still out on why miscarriage rates are higher.  I've done a ton of reading, and the arguments on all sides are fairly convincing.  It could also be an "all the above" sort of situation or a "depends on the patient" situation.  Who knows.  It seems medical professionals are a bit puzzled about PCO in general so answering these questions becomes even more difficult.

Because insulin levels (due to insulin resistance) in someone with PCO tend to be higher, many practitioners will recommend that patients continue to take metformin through the first trimester to reduce the chances of a miscarriage.  My doctor was one of those practitioners; however, it's rare they will recommend patients to continue taking the pills throughout pregnancy because it is a medication that crosses the placenta and can be passed through breast milk.

Right now, my biggest concern is passing the gestational diabetes test.  Instead of testing once at 24 or 28 weeks, I start testing at 16 weeks and continue to test every four weeks until 28 weeks.  (Well, I continue to test unless I fail the one hour and the three hour.)  Again, because insulin levels in women with PCO tend to be higher, this is precautionary.  I'm mostly concerned because I know my body doesn't handle sugar well--that's why I limit sugars and refined carbs.  In fact, the only time I really didn't "watch" was during the first trimester when the only thing I could stomach at night was a baked potato.  So chugging any amount of sugary drink sounds counter-intuitive to me.  I've read comments from other women with PCO, and many of them stated they failed the one hour and passed the three hour with flying colors.  Here's hoping.

5.  What factors do you think contributed to this pregnancy?

Honestly?  Prayer.  I don't know how many people were praying for us, but I know they were praying often.  I definitely want people to know that God should be glorified for what we've been given.  I believe everything comes by His hand, but when He does it without any sort of assistance?  It still blows my mind.

Recently, I've wondered if His consistent call to obedience in diet and exercise were contributing factors.  I don't think that gives Him any less glory in our situation.  If anything, it's probably a testament to His persistence with me because I wasn't really a willing participant.  And also, I lost very few lbs prior to discovering our little stowaway.  Most of my weight loss came after we discovered Navajo.  How many women get better weight loss results while pregnant than before?  I'd say not many.

6.  Has this experience changed the way you deal with infertility?

Yes and no.

I remember getting so frustrated with women who would try to commiserate with me when they were pregnant or had children because our situations just weren't the same.  Sure, they may have dealt with infertility, but clearly that was no longer their reality.  Basically, they weren't in the trenches anymore.

That's been my hardest reality because my heart is still there.  I do remember excusing myself from situations because I just couldn't handle them, though.  So I don't take it personally when these women don't talk to me much or avoid me in public places.  I won't be offended if they can't attend a baby shower or even if they don't coo over Little Navajo when s/he's born.  Frankly, those decisions aren't about me.  And that's OK.  I know how possible it is to be happy for someone else and still struggle with the situation.

But...

I've realized how crucial it is to pray for those in the waiting.  It's not that I didn't realize it before, but it's much more urgent to me these days.  I've been praying for three couples and my heart breaks to think any of them would sit in this season for an extended period of time.

For myself...

I pray that pregnancy will put PCO on the back burner.  It isn't a curable disease, but there are several women who have testified to fewer symptoms and fewer problems losing weight after a pregnancy.  Does it level out hormones?  Does it kick start the system into understanding how to process insulin?  Did the chicken come before the egg?  No idea.  All I know is I pray for it to happen.

So there they are...the FAQ of late.  Feel free to email other questions if you have them.  I will answer (within reason).  I'm also eagerly anticipating the arrival of my new camera and hope that will significantly impact the blog in a positive way!

Learning to Eat

The requirements for Weight Watchers used to be different.  When I first started the program (in 8th grade), there was a prescribed amount of protein, dairy, grain, etc. one was supposed to eat a meal.  I didn't stick with the diet long in those days.  Likely because they limited my orange juice intake and I couldn't figure out where cream cheese fit on my plate.

When I next joined the program, Points had taken over.  Enrollees could eat whatever they pleased as long as they didn't exceed their daily allotment of points.  Life was good.  I could have my cream cheese and eat it, too.

This, of course, might be why I'm 31 years old and have no idea how to eat.

Enter my Bento.

A lunchbox isn't a magical spell that all of a sudden enables the possesser to radically modify his/her diet.  But the concept around the Bento made sense to me.  And, as stupid as it may sound, it's teaching me.

So far, I'm down almost 3 lbs.  But what I'm more proud of?  I've eaten more fruits and veggies in the last three weeks than I've likely consumed in the last three years of my life.  (I'm excluding salads here.  Nary a salad has been found in my box.)  Even more impressive?  I'm consuming more protein than I've ever been willing to eat.  And one rule I try to stick to?  My lunch has to be as colorful as possible.  Some days I'm more successful than others.

One cheat day per week (usually Friday night dinner) has kept me from consuming white sugar, white flour and white potatoes every single other day of the week--even when I eat out.

I'm really proud of those three pounds.  But I think I'm more proud of the fact that I'm actually sticking to my resolution to eat better.  And I'm especially excited to know that I may actually be responsible for something that can help heal my PCOS (though I have to credit God with much of what's happened already).

Next time, I'll try to post some pictures so you can see exactly what has made it into the Bento.

SouthBeach Day 15

There were blackberries.  And plain yogurt.  And a small amount of Splenda.  And It. Was. Delicious.

You can think I'm crazy all you want.  Two solid weeks of meat and cheese and veggies and I'm so delighted by a little bit of fruit and the occasional sweet potato that I might pee my pants in anticipation.  I thought I'd give you a quick update, infuse a bit of my pessimism and then find a way to wrap up with post with something that may be slightly interesting.

So here we are.  I am 10 lbs down.  And amazed.  Here's what I was thinking about today:  I hit my threshold.  That 10 lbs is the same 10 lbs I lose at the beginning of every diet.  Sometimes it takes 2 weeks, sometimes it takes 2 months.  But that initial poundage always comes off.

I will become a believer when the weight loss extends beyond those ten pounds.  I'm not really trying to be negative or pessimistic.  I'm just trying to set realistic expectations for myself and part of that is recognizing the freak show that is my metabolism.

But you should also note that I am really working hard to maintain the rules of this diet.  There has been no cheating.  Given some personal circumstances, there probably won't be any cheating for quite some time.

Now, moving on to the more interesting portion of this post:

Crap.  That might have been as interesting as it gets today.

Tomorrow may be another story--especially considering that we are touring another school.  (They consistently make AYP.  They have to be cheating.  I have no idea how that's even possible.)  Then, on to brainstorming for curriculum development.

I'll bet you wish you had my life, right?

South Beach Day 8 (Or a Day in the Life of Dieting with PCOS)

The first two weeks of the South Beach diet don't allow any sort of carb.  In fact, dieters are limited to most meats, low fat cheeses, most veggies and that's about it.

I have been extremely strict, because I figure that if I'm going to do something, I'm going to do it well.  In fact, if you recall my temptation with Easter candy, I think you can attest to my willpower. 

Those things would lead one to believe that weight loss was inevitable.  In those first two weeks, women lose a crazy amount of weight.  And as of Sunday morning, I wasn't doing too badly.  I had lost 6 lbs--not as fast as my body used to lose weight, but a respectable amount.

Then, this morning, I GAINED TWO POUNDS.  I'm not sure why I gained two pounds as my day yesterday was filled with meat, eggs and green beans--all acceptable eating for the first two weeks on the diet.

But honestly, such is life with PCOS.  And this is what I've complained about before.  Willpower seems to have little to do with the situation.  I'm convinced that whether or not I want to be fat, my body is desperate to remain that way. 

It's SO frustrating.  Diets wouldn't be that big of a deal if there were effects as the result of actions taken.  That used to happen for me.  It hasn't for the last 8 or 9 years.

Is it any wonder that I end up quitting and eating what I want anyway?  My weight stays about the same when I do that--which is all of a 5-6 lb difference from when I'm dieting.

What's the point?

South Beach Day 3

I would say that I'm not a complainy, whiny person except that I am a complainy, whiny person so there's no point in hiding the actualities.  I'm not complainy about everything, and I do think there are a number of situations where we need to suck it up and do what we know is right.

But you will never hear me say that about dieting.  If you have struggled with your weight, been on a diet or get frustrated with the whole weight loss nightmare, you are totally welcome to complain as much and as often as you want.  I'll probably stand off to the side and cheer you on.  I might throw in a few helpful comments (i.e. "Let's buy baseball bats and beat all skinny people until they are as swollen as I am!").

Yet I know that those comments and complaints really aren't helpful.

So I'm not going to complain.  I know this is my body and I have to do what is best for it.  Even if I really just want to hide in my bedroom, down a bottle of cabernet and go to sleep.  But that would be cheating as I am in the no-alcohol phase of my diet (and since I can't drink on Metformin anyway.  But since a few of you are probably concerned that I'm a full-blown alchy, please note I wasn't much of a drinker to begin with).

I'm on the South Beach Diet.  In the first two weeks of the diet, there is no fruit, sugar, or any type of carb.  So basically, we have meat, cheese, vegetables and mayo.  Oh, and I can occasionally have a sugar-free fudgecicle.  And I can limit servings of fat free yogurt and cottage cheese. 

In all actuality, though, it hasn't been that bad.  I haven't wanted to chew off my own arm or rummage through my car to see if I can find the one remaining piece of chocolate I dropped some months back. 

The compromises are minimal:  I actually have to cook for myself, but I had forgotten how much I really enjoy cooking.  I have to learn to plan before I eat.  That last one is my epic fail for life.  I am notorious for eating what's available when I'm hungry.  And before you get all "That's why you're fat" on me, realize that I don't stock my pantry or fridge full of gross, bad-for-you junk.  But convenience foods don't work for a PCOS body (at least, that's what I'm told...and research in my own body proves it to be true).

I am currently listening to the new doctor.  And while I'm not sure his advice will get me to the end I want, lack of heart disease can't be a bad thing for anyone.  I suppose I also wouldn't complain about a smaller pant size.  Though right now, that matters to me very little.

How I Make Posting Decisions/My Doctor Visit

A while back, I read the Pioneer Woman's Ten Important Things I've Learned about Blogging; however, I thought the post deserved a revisit.  I mean, I really enjoy writing, but it's impossible to write a blog without really kinda wanting others to enjoy what you write.

But I laughed at her first suggestion.  She said "Be Yourself" but then qualified that statement by saying, "Write as if you’re talking to your sister.  Unless you don’t get along with your sister.  Or don’t have a sister."

Now, here's the deal:  I don't have a sister.  I have Big Bro and Lil Bro.  And I'm pretty sure that there's no topic out of bounds for either one of them.  Which could indicate a possible TMI nature in my blog that I feel I've kept to a minimum since beginning three years ago.

But before posting, I do think, "Hm...would I talk to the bros about this topic?"  And then I think, "Aren't these the same boys who talk about sex at the dinner table?  Or make inappropriate comments because they make my mom blush?"  So you see I might have a problem declaring something appropriate for blog readership.

And while I do want to give you a doctor visit update, I don't want to go too overboard.

So, here we go:

I went to see a new doctor yesterday and I wanted to propose marriage really, really liked him.  He was  kind.  He listened to my frustrations and he talked to me like I wasn't stupid.  Those things alone earn him an award in my book.

But here's the great part:  my ovaries no longer look the way they did when I was first diagnosed with PCOS.  Some of you may not understand what that means, so you should go here to look at the picture.  All of those black spots that look clear are actually cysts.  And in that picture, you can count about 8 of them.  Mine?  Had more than eleven.  On each ovary.  Yow.

Yesterday, when we looked at them, they looked clear.  I did not see one black space.  That doesn't mean that they are completely clean, but it does mean that there are no cysts big enough to show on an ultrasound.  That news was huge to me.  HUGE.  It means that all of you who have been praying for my body to work are seeing some answers to your prayers.  Thank you.

The hard news?  I really do need to step up weight loss.  As many of you already know, this is the most difficult part of PCOS.  I've struggled with weight my entire adult life.  This doctor suggested getting rid of carbs.  So I guess that's what I'll be doing for the next month or so.  I eat oatmeal every morning, so that will probably be the last thing to go, but the good news is that I don't really eat a lot of bread anymore.  My loves these days include potatoes, but I can exchange those for sweet potatoes for a while and not feel deprived.

Bascially, I'm back on that wretched PCOS diet I did sometime last summer. 

But I can feel good about doing everything I can until I've actually done everything I know how to do, right?

So here we are.  I may update recipes, etc, but I'm probably not going to post weekly weight loss successes/failures.  Like I said before, I don't want to get competitive because I generally end up frustrated when someone loses 5 lbs in one week and I lose 0.3 lbs.  It's hard, and I know you understand.

But I feel good about where we are.  And I was relieved after this appointment.

And now I need to stop my dog from licking the couch and do my Bible study.

Adieu.

Why Farting Is An Unacceptable Way to Relate to People

Apparently, farting noises are in vogue.  At least, they are in high school.

So it shouldn't have shocked me when one of my students made a farting noise just as another student bent over to pick something up.  And I probably shouldn't have exploded, but I'm really tired of the sound effects and the constant need to belittle other people.

So I did.  I exploded.  I told the entire class that I NEVER want to hear any sound effects in my room again (of course, some of this goes back to my first semester here and a wiley group of young men who only spoke in sound effects...but I digress).  After my tirade, what did my little offender do?

"I didn't do it, Mrs. House."  The other kids in the room, EVERY KID, turned around and said, "Yes, you did.  The rest of us were talking."

Eventually he owned up, stayed after class and told me he hated being made fun of so he did it to "get back" at the other kid.

Now there's a lot more to this story, but I should first tell you that the student who was "getting back" at the other student constantly makes a spectacle of himself.  He invites students to laugh at him.  But, like most of us, he only wants people to laugh at him on his own terms.  He's constantly trying to be something else or compete with his classmates to be better at something, and the good majority of them don't really know how to respond.  If they laugh, he's upset because they are making fun of him.  If they don't laugh, he's upset because they don't like him because they don't find him funny.  If he's not better at something, they have no reason to like him.

Suffice it to say that the kid is an insecure mess.  Granted, that's likely what we expect out of a 14-year-old.  It's less appealing when it comes from an adult.

But it happens into adulthood.  People are mocked.  Sometimes they are left out.  Occasionally, they are targeted.  And sometimes they are paranoid.

I hate all of those things.  I do.  Personally, it's one of the reasons I don't do things with a lot of people (alright, alright.  I just don't go out at all, mostly.  I'm a house rat.  I won't lie).  Jealousy comes when you aren't even trying to make someone else jealous or possessive, and it's likely that I'm just as guilty as the next person.

But I'm more guilty of paranoia.  In an attempt to find a reason for all things, I've noted that I'm more paranoid in the days that surround my monthly visitor.  Ladies, some of you will likely understand this concept.  I tend to be more tired, more suspicious and down more during this time than any other time.  Some of it is due to hormones.  A lot of those hormone fluctuations are due to PCOS.

It's been difficult to understand, but most of the information I've read about PCOS indicates a lack of peaks and dips when it comes to hormones.  That would explain my supreme inability to deal with them when they come along.  But part of me is just a little joyful that I'm experiencing them now because it means my body *might* be functioning the way it's meant to.

Not that it feels good to be paranoid, ya'll.  Paranoia stinks.  However, it's definitely another marker in the lesson that my feelings are never quite reliable anyway.

So that's where I stand.  Maybe my 14-year-old boy also has hormone fluctuations?

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On another note, I've decided I'm going to start collecting "hosting" dishes so I can throw a once-a-month party at my house.  Every woman wants a reason to have the girls over.  So if you want to be one of my girls, feel free to sign the list and make suggestions for serving dishes.  Chances are, they'll be sunflower colored, but I'd be glad to choose coordinating colors to spice up the offerings (like red.  I love red.  A lot.).

Just Another Normal Tuesday

I rarely struggle for conversation material.  But this?  Isn't really a conversation.  It's me spouting random things from my life to you (and silently hoping you laugh because you understand and not because you think I'm weird).  I'm not profound when in conversation.  I'm loud.  And without the filter necessary for friendly living.  But on here I wish to be profound, impressive and a compelling writer.

Like all great things in my life:  EPIC FAIL.

But I'm funny sometimes, right?  Right?  RIGHT?

Today was a pretty awesome day, but it wasn't epic.  I spent the day hanging out with Big Bro.  We went to get Favorite's birthday present (which I hope he likes) and then just talked and drove around the city a bit.

Nothing crazy to share, but those are the best kinds of days, aren't they?  The ones where you just get the opportunity to enjoy?  It was one of those days for me.

We finished off by getting bagels from Panera (for tomorrow) and greeting the appraiser for the final appraisal of the house.  Wish I had pictures to show you, but I keep forgetting to get a second battery and I can't seem to remember to charge my first battery.  You don't have to tell me.  I know how awesome I am.

Now, if I can figure out how to even out my dishwasher a bit, it'll be perfect.

PS.  I'm going to leave off with Fat Tuesday for a while.  I did lose weight, and I am proud of myself but I have to be careful about how much of my life I give to it.  Because of PCOS, weight loss is weird for me.  I may lose 5 lbs, gain 4 lbs, lose 1/4 lb and then not lose again for quite some time (while never changing the eating habits).  Not surprisingly, that's frustrating for me.  And I don't want this to be an issue of frustration.  I'll keep my eye on it and you can keep praying for me.

In Honor of Kelly's Korner: Real

A little while back, Kelly at Kelly's Korner posted and asked other bloggers how "real" they were on their personal blogs. 

She discusses the fact that she really has reached this wonderful place in her life where her days really are consumed with playdates, shopping, cooking and enjoyable activities.  But she also mentions that life wasn't always that way for her.

And while she never says it, I doubt she believes life will always be the way it is now.

I guess the funny thing about ordinary living is that some days really aren't funny, but they are very real, and they are very ordinary, and they are lived by more people than me.

I have a lot of those days.  I don't always post about them, and sometimes I ignore them and post something else.  While I have been truthful about some of the things I'm working through, I haven't always been entirely honest about how I've felt during the process.

I hate struggling with the same issues over and over again.  I despise PCOS with all my being.  I promised myself that I wouldn't let this stupid disease rob me of my joy, but girls, surely many of you understand that it's difficult when you are faced with multiple symptoms that make you feel significantly less girly/successful/capable, etc.

I hate that my hair is falling out.  It didn't used to fall out this quickly, and I've always had really thick hair so I probably didn't notice the loss.  But it doesn't feel so thick anymore.  It lays a lot differently than it used to because it's not as thick.  I hate that I have to pull two or three handfuls out of my head after every single shower of the day.  That doesn't even count the amount that falls out IN the shower.  I'm not exaggerating.

I hate that, while my hair is falling out, other hair grows.  Ever heard of hirsutism?  Look it up, because it's a glorious side effect of a syndrome that has no treatment.  The only treatment for this particular difficulty?  Laser treatments (or at home remedies that are temporary at best).

I hate that I am working my rear end off (or not, as it were) in order to keep my weight in check only to stay at exactly the same weight every week.  I hate that "healthy" people likely assume that my weight is the result of all the "treats" I eat when I'm alone.  I challenge them to search my house for said treats, because I sure haven't found them if they are here. 

I HATE being fat.  I hate feeling this way.  I really do.  And please, no messages or emails about how I'm not fat, blah blah blah.  My doctor has made it very clear that I am, in fact, fat.  Your email won't be helpful. 

I feel like this disease has robbed me of so much--things I'm willing to talk about here, and things that I won't.  And I know that God is in control.  And I do trust Him.  I really do.  There are just some things I no longer want to deal with. 

God has really spoken to my heart about being jealous of other situations when He has called me to my life and other people to theirs, but I would be lying if I said that particular lesson was easy to swallow every single day.  I don't begrudge others what they have.  Sometimes I just wish my situation were similar.  I don't want pity.  I just want to be done with this season already.  I'm tired of waiting and working and seeing no results when I'm working so hard for exactly that end.

I'm just tired.  I have laid this down in front of Him so many times, but every day is a battle.  I'm sick of fighting it.  Do you know how much easier it would be to say "Screw it" and then let it go?  Unfortunately, experience has taught me that I would only go through another cycle of self-loathing because I wasn't doing my fair share to keep this stupid disease in check.

Not that my efforts seem effective, anyway.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is real.

Following Christ and Not Smelling Like A Foot

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers" (Galatians 6:9-10).

These verses have always been my favorite.  I truly believe that God has called us to remain faithful--to share our lives and encourage others in the family of believers (and otherwise).  Are we always successful?  Girl, please.  Faith is rough.  That's why we need the encouragement of others so badly.

This morning, I was encouraged.

I love women's ministry.  I have been involved in it for the past few years, and there is nothing I like better than meeting with a group of women to study scripture.  My women understand that none of us are perfect.  They "get" this thing called grace.  And I find encouragement with them.

Our new director has decided we are going to call ourselves "The Apron Society" and our purpose is to serve.

My heart is moved by that.  I think the purpose of the church is to move outside the walls and serve the community in which it resides.  Because I teach high school, I believe in the phrase "They won't care to know until they know you care."  Basically, I believe we are called to live our faith in front of people--not to showboat, but to give credit to Christ Jesus.

To whoever reads my blog:  I am an angry, bitter, jealous, hateful person.  I was a born sinner in every way.  Left to my own devices, I would likely condemn people--in spite of the things in my past.  Anything that is good in me has been due to the grace of Jesus Christ.  I am thankful that there is NO condemnation for me (or for you) IN Christ Jesus.  We are free--and those whom Christ has set free are FREE INDEED.  I am not in bondage to my past--to my sinful self.  Will you see perfection lived out in me?  I doubt it.  But I refuse to live in fear or as a slave to sin.  I choose to remember to fear not, because he has redeemed me and I am His.

If you don't know Him, I pray He draws your heart.  I pray that, for everyone who reads this blog, God would speak to you on an individual level.  He can and will meet you where you are.  He did that for me.
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The rest of my day was enjoyable.  I went to Cape with my mom and Gloria.  We went to our new favorite store.  I didn't buy anything of Vera's (although there's a new style I LOVE), but I did come home with something I stared at the last time we visited:

I've said over and over that I am a girly girl...much to my amazement.  But when it comes to jewelry, I just don't wear a lot.  I like to have different necklaces, etc., but I generally wear the same pair of earrings (my favorites) and the same two bracelets.  That is, until today.  This is a larkspur bracelet--and that's the official flower for July (which is my birth month).  I thought it was gorgeous, and I'll bet you see it become a regular part of my wardrobe.

I also had to get more of this:

Instead of the Sweet Pear, I decided to try something else.  Have I mentioned that my house no longer smells like a foot?  It's true.  That's my official plug for a product.  YOU NEED A LAMPE BERGER!  GET ONE TODAY!  THEY ARE AMAZING!  (That company should totally pay me royalties).

In other news, I am continuing my PCOS diet, and my doctor has prescribed an insulin sensitizing medicine to help.  Despite the rigorous perameters of the diet, I hadn't lost any weight.  I go to the gym 4-5 times a week and still didn't see any results.  Three days with the added treatment?  Four pounds down. 

Please don't think I'm sharing this information simply to receive praise, or even because I'm addicted to TMI.  I'm simply sharing in case there are other women who are struggling with the syndrome.  I want you to know that you are not alone, and there are treatments.  Feel freet to contact me if you have any questions--about PCOS or Jesus.  I'll talk about either ;) 

Actually, I'll probably talk about both if you contact me.  After all, God's grace has sustained me through this part of my life.

Food and Funerals

I really love to cook.  I don't do it very often because Hubby and I work opposite shifts when I'm teaching, but I have a few friends who share my love of the culinary arts.  I, however, do not compare to many of them when it comes to slinging hash.

Take, for instance, my friend, Casey.  I still haven't figured out why she won't just go to culinary school.  Her pineapple salsa is to die for, and I am now the proud owner of that recipe.  But it's not just pineapple salsa.  She "gets" the whole kitchen experience.  That's probably why she got me the awesome gift below.

I love Vera, and I love cooking.  Why WOULDN'T the two go together?  Add to this the fact that I really love pink (and daisies) and you have a winning combination.

That love for cooking is being taxed a little right now, though.  I know I mentioned that I have been struggling with symptoms of PCOS for a while.  I really debated with myself as to whether or not I would share any of this information on my blog.  I don't like to put too much out there, you know?  But I also know how much it would've benefitted me to have a bit of information about the syndrome, how to treat it, what others have tried, etc.

Anyway, I've been working on sticking to a hardcore diet that focuses mostly on whole foods (few if any processed foods), restricts dairy and allows few carbs that don't come from fruits or veggies.  Occasionally, I can have quinoa (which has a high concentration of protein) and on Fridays, I generally eat part of a bran muffin.  If you like bread and pasta like I do, you can see the problem.  It's definitely been a stretch to add more veggies to my diet--not that I didn't like them.  I just wasn't used to making them the majority of my meals.

I'm learning, though, that veggies are supposed to take up at least half of your plate every meal--and we're not talking about potatoes and corn.  We're talking about asparagus, squash, carrots, tomatoes, spinach, green beans, cucumbers, etc.  I'm sure you're getting the picture.  But in case you're not, keep scrolling.

Maybe it doesn't look appetizing this close, but it was really good.  It's really simple, too.  Baby spinach with cherry tomatoes, cucumber and red bell pepper mixed with guacamole and a touch of parmesan.  I promise you it's YUM.  Of course, you have to like guacamole.

Tonight, it was shrimp (in lime mojito marinade) with sauteed bell pepper and onion mixed into quinoa (mix the marinade in, too).  For a side, steamed squash with a little added butter and Mrs. Dash.  It's not fancy but everything tastes so fresh--which I love. 

So far, it's working out.  Hopefully it will have some affects on my health as well.  I'll get back to you there.

The other part of today was a little rough.

Hubby and I attended the funeral of a friend from high school.  Hubby and Brian spent a lot of time together before we got married, and it was rough to see a person pass away when he was only 30. 

As I listened to the eulogy, I couldn't help but wonder what I would want people to say at my funeral.  Maybe moments like this are important to remind us where it is we want to be--and how far we have to go.

I think I would want people to say that I was a good friend--compassionate, funny and dependable.  I would want them to say that I was reasonable and made good decisions.  I want to be the kind of person who grows and learns throughout life--and encourages others to do so.  But most of all, I want people to see that I love my God...that He guided my path.  I want to be the kind of person who gives Christ the glory for any success in my life--for people to understand that I'm not capable of anything on my own.

Because I'm a curious type of person, I want to know what you would say.  What kind of person do you want to be?  What do you think people see when they look at you?  What do you want them to say about you at your funeral?

Share your thoughts.  I'm interested to hear what you have to say.

"Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him"
                                        --(1 Thessalonians 4:13-14).