...or Praiseworthy...

Start at the Beginning

BigBro is one of the smartest people I've ever met.  He is level-headed and intelligent--a combination I feel is sadly lacking in society.  People love him--from the very old to the very young--because he has a demeanor that makes them instantly comfortable and accepted.

And while all these things paint a picture of the great person he is, they don't show the mixing process it took to develop some of those paint colors, or the painstaking process of creation.

BigBro graduated from high school number five in his class.  His level of intelligence guaranteed that everyone above him was genius level, and that theory has proven itself in the fact that number one and number two went on to pursue endeavors with the Navy (at their invitation--something to do with nuclear submarines) and MIT respectively.

BigBro pursued his education at a private university several hours away from home, but some personal life struggles left him wanting, seeking, something that was difficult to determine.  (Keep in mind, this story is from my point of view and I won't share some of the more private aspects of this journey.)  After a few years, he returned home to attend a local university.

His endeavors there weren't much more successful.  Despite his intelligence, BigBro was struggling with the direction of his life, and that made it difficult to make potentially life-altering decisions.  Eventually, he left the university sans degree and took a job with Barnes & Noble.

He would ultimately work for the company for 10 years.  But the process is likely more important than the time.  He developed close friendships, and a deep understanding of the cafe.  BigBro was a talented barista, and that isn't a fact acknowledged by me alone.  Over time, several customers became his "regulars" and many of them his friends.

Fantastic interpersonal skills aside, BigBro came to understand the overwhelming demands of retail.  Holidays, with the exception of Christmas, became UN-holidays, because the general public would hasten to spend their extra time browsing the aisles of books and sipping a fancy drink.  And while he may have mentioned frustrations a time or two, he rarely complained.

Some people believed a couple of years with the company would be enough to send BigBro running to the classroom to finish his degree.  I'm sure after a frustrating day, he considered it, but he was more dedicated to careful consideration and future possibilities.

One of his regulars made him a member of the "Drop-Out-Club," and while he and Ronnie considered this an inside joke, I found the jest to be fairly insulting.  One day, after I had grown tired of a number of people ragging on BigBro to "just finish" his degree, this man's "inside joke" became the straw that broke the camel's back.  The ten minute diatribe that followed wasn't my finest hour, but I still believe the things I said.

Ronnie is the most trustworthy person I know.  He is admirable for a hundred reasons that don't require a college degree, and I think that's the kicker.  Several of the things we learn in college were things Ronnie already understood.  And, I believed in him, because I knew that when the path was clear, he would pursue it with ardor.

About 9 years into his tenure at Barnes & Noble, that's exactly what happened.  His love of cars and engines developed into a bachelor's degree in engineering.  While pursuing his master's, he was head-hunted to apply for a job with a company more than ten hours away.  And after an interview, that company (who clearly saw something worthwhile there--smart people) offered him more money than he originally asked for.

Ten years from start to finish.  Ten years of frustration, decisions and well-meaning advice givers.  Ten years of courage of conviction, honesty and trustworthiness.  Ten years for God to clearly direct his path.  Ten years for BigBro to get a little recognition for the ability most of us saw very early in his life.  But he is, by far, one of the most praiseworthy people I've had the privilege of knowing personally--and more so because He gives God the glory for where he is and where he has been.

There are more struggles to come, I'm sure.  More decisions to make.  More life to live.  But in that process, I can guarantee you that the things that make BigBro praiseworthy are the very things that others will see in the journey to come.  When they do, I hope that's what they think on, because I can't think of him without openly acknowledging those traits.

Final Installment of Philippians 4:8

...If Anything is Excellent...Part 2

Start at the beginning

This series is changing the way I approach topics.  Sometimes, I want to write scathing remarks about incidents in the lives of people I love.  I keep wanting to defend the innocent, but I can't get more than a few paragraphs in before God kindly reminds me that innocence itself is the best defense.  No amount of back biting--from whatever direction--will change that fact.

My remarks would eventually be lost in the cacophony of words that aren't beneficial.  They aren't uplifting.  And even my persuasion skills couldn't convince you they were anywhere close to Christ-like.

Like every other person, I'm stuck in the realm of first person perspective:  I can't see beyond what I can see.  I've had to use phrases like "That's not what happened" or "That information is pretty off-base."  And like my juniors are learning with The Education of Little Tree, first person perspective can be fairly manipulative.

For Lent, I was determined to give up television during the week day.  I was sure my time management skills would benefit, and I even justified I would get to spend more time in Bible study which would, in essence, draw my heart closer to God.  But PastorJosh issued a different sort of sacrificial challenge:  What if, instead of giving up chocolate, soda, television or facebook, the church determined that we would give up sin?

Instead of "giving up" for Lent, I'm determined to live differently.  I'm praying that God will teach me to love Him with my heart, soul, mind and strength--with everything I have.  And, in addition, I'm praying for a break from the first person perspective so I can pray like Jesus:  "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34).  I don't just want to pray that prayer in persecution.  I want to live that life--the one that knows how desperately humanity needs Christ.

And I am not immune from humanity.

 What if we determined that the proverbial "buck" stops here? What if gossip, immorality, judgementalism and hatred ended with us?  What if we, as the church, determined to live the next forty days with Christ's heart?

What sort of excellent would that be?

...Or Praiseworthy...

...If Anything is Excellent...

Start at the Beginning

Excellent isn't a word in my everyday vernacular.  In fact, it conjures images of Bill and Ted and some adventure I'm not sure my 14-year-old mind comprehended as well as my 20-year-old mind would have.  But the word is felt and seen when God graciously parts the veil enough for me to see His hand make slight movements that have rocked my world.

More often than not, God has used something outside myself to clear the lens enough to allow me to see His movements of excellent.  Today, I had that privilege.

I have a life verse.  I didn’t get it all at once, but over time, God revealed bits and pieces of scripture until I was able to see that different situations I was facing boiled down to the same scripture.  Even now, He still reveals new sections and pieces that seem fitting to my circumstances.

Isaiah 43

¹ But now, this is what the LORD says—
   he who created you, Jacob,
   he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
   I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
² When you pass through the waters,
   I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
   they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
   you will not be burned;
   the flames will not set you ablaze.

First, I got verse one.  I needed the reminder that I was claimed and His.  I needed to put our relationship in perspective and realign my attitude with one who is claimed and redeemed.  More than 8 months later, as I encountered several hurts in a row, I received verse two.  I still read those verses (and wonder if they were meant to prepare me for future fires through which I had to walk).  Fire and water are both consuming and overwhelming, but I would not be consumed by them.

In the last few months, God has slowly been reminding me of verses 18-19:

¹⁸ “Forget the former things;
   do not dwell on the past.
¹⁹ See, I am doing a new thing!
   Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
   and streams in the wasteland.

I don’t believe those verses to be a magic “cure-all," but I look to them to remember where I have been and where God has brought me.  They are reminders that “He who began a good work in you” will do His job fully and completely (Phil. 1:6).

I walked into an Ash Wednesday service yesterday (my first) and realized my belief God is good was born out of something horrific.  I said He was good before those circumstances entered my life, but I believed it wholeheartedly afterward (or during might be more accurate).  When I bent my head to acknowledge my sinfulness, a deep understanding of God's excellence washed over me, because He hasn't just led me in this journey, he's occasionally revealed tiny pieces of the map.

The point is this:  He is worth our thoughts, because His ways (that are not our ways) prove a path of excellence paved with or without our knowledge.

...If Anything is Excellent...Part 2

...Whatever is Admirable...Part 2

Start at the beginning

It's a goal of mine to develop the gift of hospitality.  Stick with me here, because I'm going to share a little secret.

God has called me to a ministry of encouragement.  (Which is ironic, really.  And that irony is not lost on me.)  Often, that ministry requires gracious hosting (not a gift of mine), words of affirmation (which apparently don't include the words "pansy" or "suck it up"), attentive listening (which means checking email on my phone probably isn't acceptable during our dinner conversation) and occasionally requires laying oneself bare to encourage an atmosphere of transparency (which I can do:  awkwardly.  But recent situations--like changes in the last few months--have a way of causing one to "hole up" so to speak.  So it's another thing I don't have down).

When we built our house, I tried to build it with hospitality in mind.  I wanted a space to entertain, to feed, to laugh and to cry.  I needed the sense of cozy that comes with a well-planned room.  I wanted friends and family to come in and feel at ease to make themselves at home.  (Making themselves at home often means they are comfortable enough to get their own drinks.  That doesn't make me a bad host, does it?)  And now that we're in that house, I'm trying to practice these undeveloped skills and rearrange furniture to reach those goals.

But this post isn't for others to admire me--it's in admiration of people who already do this well.  Sometimes I'm struck dumb by people who warmly embrace people as part of their personal journey.  Their homes and their lives become a testament to the fact that this (however you identify it) really is about relationship.

I've had family model this concept for me before I had words to identify what they were doing.  My dad's youngest brother and his wife have welcomed half of the people in our county to their home with open arms.  My parents "added on" people who were without a home or family.  Shoot--there are more people than I can count who also refer to my mom and dad as their "other parents."  And my church?  Continues to include and invite.

Maybe this whole hospitality thing comes down to one thing:  inclusion.  And people who make us feel like we belong are some of the most admirable in the world.

...If Anything is Excellent...

...Whatever is Admirable...

Start at the beginning

I keep thinking that I will eventually get the point where I am no longer almost ashamed to tell people I am a Christian. Don't misinterpret. If we were to sit down and talk about Christ and his place in my life, you would see that I am grateful for His mercies--they are new every morning.

But as an ambassador, I am sadly lacking. Without becoming self deprecating (because most people think that term and realism are interchangeable), I need to be honest about the reflection that stares at me from the mirror. My words are not always helpful or beneficial. Some of those words I am attempting to removefrom my vocabulary entirely--with limited success. I make inappropriate jokes and even more inappropriate comments. Screening before speaking is not a virtue of mine.

I don't always know how to deal with hurts, insecurities or horrible people. I'm at an even deeper loss when I'm the horrible person. I struggle with boundaries and alienation, but I know that some decisions, happy or not, are necessary.

Walking with Jesus hasn't innoculated me from any sense of my humanity. But the time between the actual act or word and my recognition of what needs to be sacrficed for His glory is becoming shorter.

And I'm just praying that is admirable.

...Whatever is Admirable... Part 2

...Whatever is Lovely...Part 2

Sometimes it's difficult to verbalize the affect of one little word.  But when I see that word in action, I know there's no better definition than the picture that is actualized before me.

Lovely is a hard one.  How is that different from beautiful?  Or pretty?  Or gorgeous, even?  I know broken things are ultimately lovely when they are redeemed, but I wanted to share something that just harmonized with my heart.

A few weeks ago, I had the privilege to attend a restaurant with a group of people from my church.  I thought it would be a good opportunity to develop deeper relationships--especially considering I've fashioned myself a bit of a social pariah.  Fortunately, these people are open to the most anti-social of congregants.

I sat beside a woman who is engaged.  She is in her forties, and the man she is marrying will be her first husband.  Normally, I wouldn't qualify a story with so many statements, but I feel these things are part of the tapestry that made the conversation so interesting.

We chit-chatted about wedding registries, and the things I felt were most valuable.  We talked about her house, her dress and her family.  Finally, I got so excited (most due to her bubbly conversation about the blessed event), I asked, "What excites you most about marrying Vern?"

Diane thought for a minute before she responded:  "I'm just excited to marry Vern.  I just love him."

A simple answer was the definition of lovely, because it painted a picture of the beauty of relationship.  Of course, she is looking forward to registries, celebration, her dress, her house and the ceremony.  But she is most excited that she loves this man.  She's most excited that they are committing the rest of their lives to one another.  She's most excited that they are in this together.

I heard once that everyone has a story.  The more I listen to others, the more I believe that statement is true.  And those stories have a way of redefining words into pictures until lovely no longer struggles to be separated from beautiful, pretty or gorgeous.  Instead, lovely is Diane and Vern.

...Whatever is Admirable...

...Whatever is Lovely...

Start at the beginning

Go looking for honey, and chances are good you'll stir up some bees.

Despite my declaration that thick skin is a necessity, my heart is easily bruised by people I've loved with reckless abandon.  (And I mean every bit of that cheesy-sounding sentence.)  Stings multiply quickly, and they swell until, like Peter on the waves, I cry out praying that I would quit being the common denominator in a series of never-will-be-the-sames.  And while change is certainly good, it seems people forget that we live in the wreckage of that change while learning to withstand the fire of the "adjustment period."  Sometimes, the real adjustment is the wake-up call that there are petty people in the world who will quit when they've never tried.  But that, too, is a sting.

Few of those things are lovely.  Actually, I pretty positive that absolutely none of those things are lovely in any sense of the word.

So I've been trying to reconcile the command that we should think on truth, nobility, righteousness, purity and loveliness to the reality that our lives may look a little less lovely and a little more wrecked at times.  Then what?

Then we know we are redeemed, and that water and fire cannot drown or burn us (Isaiah 43:1-2).  Then our focus gravitates to the year of the Lord's favor, and his anointing to heal the broken (Isaiah 61).  Then we revel in the fact that loveliness doesn't come from perfection, but from the precious gift housed in the shoddiest vessel available (2 Corinthians 4:7).

In the process, I guess I'm starting to see that the loveliest picture is generally made from fragments and shards that will never go together the same way again.  Who would want them to when your God is "doing a new thing"? (Isaiah 43:19).

Perhaps the loveliest picture we will ever see is the broken redeemed.  Think about such things.

...Whatever is Lovely...Part 2