Thursday, June 28, 2012

A Rant Interrupted

This morning, I weighed.  After three solid weeks of watching what I eat and exercising consistently for the last two, I'm stuck in the cycle of gaining and losing the same two pounds over.  And over.  And over again.

So I planned to come here and write a rant about how ridiculous and overrated this whole Made to Crave nonsense is and how it really helped for the first weeks, but it hasn't made a lick of difference overall.  I even worked part of it out in my head and planned to whine about PCOS with a renewed vigor found only on a grade school playground.

But...
I can't do that now.  I can't rant because God brought a scripture to my remembrance that identified this ridiculous cycle for me:  "be transformed by the renewing of your mind" (Romans 12:2).

This is where the rubber meets the road.  At this stage in the game, I would declare weight loss ridiculous, quit my efforts and drown my sorrows in a bucket of carbs that would shame Panera into the ground.  Then I would've called my mother and my husband and made them commiserate with me to the point of tears.  (I may or may not have done that last thing before the scripture was brought to my attention.)

But Romans identified a cycle I have ignored in the past.  I lost my sense of determination because I was caught up in the idea that my sacrifice deserved, not just a return, but an immediate return.  So I prayed in the car that Christ would continue to draw my heart to servanthood for His glory.  And, again, I asked Him to remind me of Philippians 3:19:  "Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is set on earthly things."  I don't want to find glory and indulge in the temporal.  And I know that means dedicating myself to permanent changes that will result in some awesome, albeit sometimes delayed, returns. 

But ultimately, these things are leading to a servant's heart.  Isn't that whole point of sacrifice?

(For Women's Bible Study ladies who may read:  Isn't this just reassurance that it really is God's kindness that leads us to repentance?  I was caught off-guard by it, and thankful that He is gracious enough to point out the cycle for the sake of real change and repentance.)

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