Monday, January 4, 2010

Who is that? Wait?! What do you mean it's me?

I love Christmas. I don't love it because of some childhood memory; athough I do think times at Grandma's significantly contribute to my love for the season. As an adult, I developed a love for the holidays because it was the time of year when everyone was together. When Tim was in the military, he couldn't always come home at other times, but he always managed to make it home for Christmas. So it meant a lot to me to have my entire family together at this time of year.

What I hate about Christmas are the pictures. Don't get me wrong. I love cheesin' it up with friends provided you get things from the neck up. Anything beyond that, and I'm not just overly thrilled. I guess it's because I had no idea how much weight I had gained. I have difficulty keeping my weight under control with the insulin resistance and all, but I have no excuse to have reached the point I am at now. I guess I have fancied myself a certain size and have never changed my mindset. It's time to get things under control.

That said, I'm really trying to become conscious about exercising every single night--and not just cardio. I want to focus on specific muscle groups so I can start seeing some tone instead of just focusing on burning calories. Maybe some of that jiggle will get a little tighter so I no longer look like this:

I don't necessarily want to be a certain size, I guess I just don't want to be this size. And, seriously, I'd like my belly to not stick out as far as my boobs do. Oh, and I'd like to not have that cushy stuff on the sides of my hips. How do you even get that?!
So here we are 2010. Today I did a leg workout and I'm not sure I'm going to be able to walk tomorrow, and I didn't even do that much. Worth it. Totally worth it (at least, I'm trying to stick with the positive).

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