Monday, November 1, 2010

Gone, baby, gone, baby, gone

Some people say that if they could go back to high school they totally would.  I've never understood this mentality because high school was a pretty traumatic time in my life.  But there are definitely things that I miss that are long gone--and not just from high school.

I miss the days of less responsibility.  I can remember thinking that people expected way too much of me in high school and parts of college, but it seems an unfair comparison these days.  Maybe I'm just too busy?  Maybe the expectations are still too high?  But the sense of responsibility is there, and there's no denying that the footloose and fancy free days are long gone.

I miss the "fat" I was in high school.  If I only knew then...

I miss my Grandma and Grandpa Mays.  They were great people, and I often wonder what life would be like if they were still around to discuss circumstances and decisions.  My gramma was really great about listening.  She didn't always offer advice, but you always knew she was paying attention to what you said.

I miss "hanging out" time.  A couple of years ago, I participated in a marriage seminar with the Family Living class at our school.  One of the questions the girls asked me was, "How do you find time away from your spouse for yourself?"  I told them that it seemed like I was searching for time together instead of time apart.  Unfortunately, that doesn't just go for time with my spouse.  It's time with everyone I love.  I remember when it was a regular event to meet up with all my college buddies and sit around and chat.  Maybe there's a reason I was less stressed then?

I miss my naivete.  Am I completely not naive?  Ha.  Hardly.  But there are situations in which I am a little too knowledgable...and I miss the innocence of ignorance.  I can't say I would go back, but if I were still naive, I'm not sure I would choose the circumstances I'm living, either.

I miss my husband.  He didn't leave me, but I hate that he has to go to work about the time I'm getting off.  I miss spending time with him.  We actually enjoy each other's company so we aren't exactly adjusting to this schedule.

I miss Alex.

The list would go on, but it would get mundane after a while.  Thankfully, I don't believe missing things means I can't look forward to what is to come.  I just appreciate what is now past.

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