Dear Upper Respiratory Mess,
Leave me alone. This is the THIRD TIME I've had you in the last month. The. Third. Time. I have no idea why you find my body to be the perfect host for your little Hamptons get away, but I'm done.
I like sleeping without coughing my head off. I like breathing without randomly throwing up because I end up coughing so hard. I especially enjoy tasting food which I can't even eat at this point because it makes me sick.
I don't know what your problem is or why I'm being targeted. I do know that it's time for you to pick somewhere else to make roots. I'm probably going to the doctor tomorrow, and even though that didn't work the first time, I'm hopeful that this time the doctor will hand you your packing papers.
The Tired of Being Ivalid Teacher Who Cannot Expect Substitutes to Teach Julius Caesar
PS. Theraflu is not amazing. But it does clear my sinuses and send you into hiding for long enough for me to sleep at least an hour. Forget that I've been in bed for 20 hours today.