Friday, October 22, 2010

The Letter Series: Dear Insurance Guy

I don't know how things work at your school, but at our school we have to fill out new insurance information every year.  Every year they place this guy in our lounge because it's the easiest place to catch every teacher.  Unfortunately, it's also the most public place. 

I don't know how you feel, but I'm not an advocate for sharing every medical problem in the company of prying ears.  There are some people I trust and other people I think need to mind their business, so the fact that he was sitting across from me in a room that had just enough people in it to make me uncomfortable, wasn't a scenario I relished.

While I realize this is a public blog, please keep in mind that I will be keeping a few of the better parts of this conversation to myself.  They are not public information.

Insurance guy:  Fill out the top of this form and give it back to me and we'll get started.

Me:  No problem.

*Brief pause while I fill out personal information*

Insurance guy:  I need your height and weight, please.

Me:  *Of course I answered this question, but will I be sharing that answer with you?  Hardly.  Keep dreaming blog-world.  My weight will never be public knowledge...but keep in mind this is where the interesting part of the conversation takes place*

Insurance guy:  Are you pregnant?

Me:  No.

Insurance guy:  *I don't remember the exact exchange here, but we moved on to some other stuff where we went back and forth asking and answering questions*

Insurance guy:  Are you pregnant?

Me:  Um, no.

*More exchanges about current medications, blah-blah-blah*

Insurance guy:  Are you sure you're not pregnant?

Me:  I'm sure.  Just chubby.  Not pregnant.

Now girls, I realize that an insurance rep needs to know of any impending births.  But rest assured, I know my body and I am not, in fact, pregnant.  I wanted to hold a damn big sign to make this point clear since I was asked the question THREE SEPARATE TIMES.  I also wanted to make it clear that maybe I wasn't super comfortable with his line of questioning.

First of all, I know I'm chubby.  I've been working on it.  But the battle with PCOS doesn't make this the easiest pony to ride.  Get off my back.

Secondly, when someone tells you something once, twice and three times a lady, you should realize that you asked that question a few too many times.  An apology might be in order.  Blame it on old age so I will not spend the rest of the year silently wishing some angry teacher with an insurance claim hits you in the face.

Thirdly, Really?  I mean, seriously?

So for future reference to those of you in the blog world:  I am not pregnant.  I am fat.  End of story.


ktjane said...

I don't like that this happened to you. I do, however, love it when you get fired up. You are totally our Julia.

Ostriches Look Funny said...

this is crazy!

i found you from The lumberjack's wife. Hi!

Ada said...

Here is a comment I left on a blog yesterday and one of your readers directed us here for your "Are you pregnant?" post...
You can see it all

Story time: I was in banking for over a decade. One week every girl on my teller line got asked if they were pregnant by a different man. Every one. I thought it was hilarious until it was my turn.
Silly male customer: “Are you pregnant?”
Me: “Um, no.”
Silly male customer: “Oh, well maybe it is the shirt.”
Me: “Let me give you a little bit of advice. In the future, do not ask a lady if she is pregnant unless she is physically giving birth in front of you.”
Silly male customer looks at me with a little bit of shock.
Me: “Now, how would you like your cash back?”

I would like to point out that I was the tiniest I have ever been when this happened and the girl that stood next to me was a size 0. These were clearly just crazy people.
Crazy, I tell you.

Taylor said...

We were just talking about this on my blog this week! People are so darn rude!

I am sorrry this happened to you and I hope Mr. Insurance guy stops being a goon soon.

Nice to meet you! Katie from So Funny Story sent me here! :)