Wednesday, May 25, 2011

A Magic Act

I'm in a writing desert.

There's so much swirling around me at this point, but some of it would, unfortunately, be incomprehensible on this blog.  Therefore, I simply edit it the way any good English teacher would edit a paper.  And here, editing my life is easier than it should be.  I wish I had a 'save' option  or a 'delete' option or even a 'preview' option to weigh the heart of a matter before I actually had to face it.

But guess what I don't have?

So I wait.  Because that's what God seemingly keeps asking of me. 

Wait until I say go.
Wait until I give direction.
Wait until I open a door.
Wait until I give you words.
Wait, Crys. 
Wait on Me.

And I'll be honest.  I'm a little tired of waiting.  I have no idea what I'm doing or what I'm supposed to be doing and I'm starting to feel like everything I touch crumbles (like the opposite of King Midas...although turning everything to gold wasn't really the blessing he anticipated).

Didn't I used to be better at this?

But maybe the point is it's not about me.  Surprisingly, I don't really struggle with that concept.  Frankly, complete invisibility is something I've found myself envious of lately. 

Anyone have one of those Harry Potter cloaks?  I sure could use it.

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