Wednesday, June 22, 2011

I Totally Get That

I skipped doing Wednesday Hodgepodge in favor of having dinner with a friend last night and breakfast with my husband this morning.  Two words?  Worth it.

It's fantastic to be able to say that about things in my life.  I would say I've been struggling with a few things lately, but that's neither true nor accurate.  "Struggling" has been the state of my life for the last year or so.  Maybe longer if my pride would allow me to admit that on the worldwide web.  It's not a "pity me because some things are just hard right now" sort of struggling, because, if nothing else, it's certainly made me more compassionate for people who deal with difficult circumstances (and there are lots of you out there--possibly all of you).  But maybe it should give me a sense of gratefulness--not just for the things I have, but for God's continued ability to teach me when I just don't get it.

I'm really just hoping that while I'm being as honest as possible about what it means to follow Him, I'm glorifying Him.  I don't want to screw it up.  Sometimes I'm terrified that's exactly what I'm doing.

There have been a few surprising things in the process, though.  Like really learning to listen.  Like the privilege of spending time with really great people.  Like finally allowing yourself to share with them.  Like the concept that your own great words don't just apply to other people.

In about two weeks, I'll turn 31.  And just like I promised you last year, I still don't have it figured out.  I don't even think I'm a year closer to clarity, but I can definitely see purposefulness in these seasons.  Sometimes I believe God has ordained these things for no other reason than to give me the ability to shake my head during a conversation and say, "Yep.  I totally get that."

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