Monday, April 18, 2011

Broken Records

Sometimes you can't explain the ache.  It's constant.  Sometimes it's so strong, and other days it's just a nagging whisper.  But it doesn't go away.

It doesn't matter if the people around me hope I'll get new subject matter or just stop talking about it.

And I wonder how many people are plagued with an ache they just can't smother.  The circumstances may be a little different--loss of a spouse, loss of a friend, loneliness, displacement, uncertainty, etc.--but the ache is probably similar.

There's no talking it away, and some days I wonder what I would say anyway.  The last thing you want to be is a broken record, but when your heart is broken, it seems to skip back to the same tune.

Some days, other people say it better than you ever could. Today, Katie Rowe said it for me: "My eyes are wide open to what I do have, but they are also wide open to what I'm missing. Last night as I was looking at a picture of us with Reese I asked the Lord, 'How is this ok?' I immediately felt in my heart His answer. 'It's not. And it won't be until we are all together in Heaven.'"

2 comments:

Tara said...

I'm so glad you posted this--it is exactly how I'm feeling today, and I didn't know how to put it into words. Thank you.

Katie said...

"...when your heart is broken, it seems to skip back to the same tune." That's very true. Thank you for sharing your heart. It has blessed mine today!