Saturday, April 30, 2011

To Catch Up

I apologize for my absence.  It has been a busy week at school with the PSAE and trying to get lesson plans together for the remaining month.  (ACK.  ONLY A MONTH LEFT.  DIDN'T WE JUST START SCHOOL?!)

I'm not completely successful.  I have ideas about what I'd like to do for English II, but I truly wonder if they are going to be able to appreciate Antigone in our remaining time.  Realistically, I won't be able to give them any great or meaningful assignments, but that's something I'll probably rectify for next year.  One issue with teaching a class for the first time is that whole trial-and-error thing that drives me crazy.  I'm that person that likes to do everything perfectly the first time, and that, unfortunately, is never my reality.

I've also been a little bit concerned that I'm alienating people because I struggle to deal with some of my emotions.  I have several good friends at work, but I fear I push away from them when I don't know what to do with those insecurities.  To be honest, I don't always do a very good job avoiding those feelings--even when I'm trying.  So I guess the easiest way to keep from talking about it, and talking about it, and talking about it is to avoid everyone entirely.  Which really isn't effective either.

Shocking that I have few friends, right?

Yesterday, I got a new phone and SugarBean turned 5--not necessarily listed in order of excitement.  Because no matter how pumped I was to get an HTC Thunderbolt, SugarBean easily out-excited me by simply receiving several stuffed animals in coffee mugs.  (Note:  It's totally what she asked for.  Something about a tea party.  We got her a Zsu-Zsu puppy and a hotdog cart for the puppy to push.  And something called Squinkies?).

But I am super-pumped about my phone.  Favorite and I haven't updated for about five years so it was nice to let go of the dinosaur I had--not that my life was worse for having the dinosaur.

The weight loss journey continues.  I get to start adding carbs back into my diet tomorrow, and I'd like to go crazy.  Unfortunately, the diet suggests starting slowly.  More than likely, that means I'll add fruit to my breakfast.  Maybe I can talk Favorite into going to Cracker Barrell in the morning since we aren't going to church.

I have found that all that protein means that I don't eat very often, so any weight loss is likely coming from less eating on my part.  I still haven't cheated--a feat I find miraculous.  I really do want this to work on my body, but the longer I diet, the more I believe there is something more wrong with my body than I ever anticipated.  Quite frankly, it wants to be fat.  And I'm saying that as someone who has had tremendous willpower for at least the last two weeks (and for several diets in the past).  I'm realistic.  I don't want it all to come off over night, but a consistent loss for my efforts would be fantastic.

And now I'd better wrap it up before I start sharing all my woes and thoughts ;)  After all, I have a house to finish cleaning, lesson planning to finish and Bible study to complete. 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Just wanted you to know I am praying for you! I too suffered with infertility for 6.5 years (trying everything you can think of to get pregnant). After over $100,000 of medical treatment (including IUI's, IVF's, gestational surrogates, etc. . .), we adopted a precious little girl (she practically fell in our laps) and then 4.5 months later I was pregnant - NATURALLY. Just know that God DOES have a plan for you (I know you know this) and that if you are to "carry" a baby . . God is the GREAT PHYSICIAN! BTW, love your blog and book recommendations.